Balter

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In my dreams, I waltz away into incandescent happiness. In reality, I balter.

I never like to go out to clubs or dance at a bar because I feel like there is an expectation of the way you’re supposed to dance, which is entirely not my style. Weddings. That’s my style. Weddings are such a joyous occasion and people are so happy (not to mention there’s older folk present who expect a certain decorum) so everyone just wants to dance around in the merriest, goofiest, most ecstatic manner possible.

In club dancing, and even ballroom dancing, you’re so worried about the tempo and the beat and the fact that people naturally evaluate how well (or not) you dance, and worry so easily gets in the way of true fun and joy and adventure (as noted in my previous post). At a wedding, everyone’s baltering, so no one cares.

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I try not to make decisions in my life based on what others might think, but on how that decision will make me feel, and how it will make me a better, happier person. Of course, that’s not always easy to do and at this point in my life you might not believe me, but I do my best. To balter is possibly the easiest, best way to stick with that lifestyle choice.

One of the happiest moments in my life was a Friday night my junior year of college when two of my roommates and I decided to stay in and watch the remake of Footloose in our sweatpants, with blankets and pillows. It’s no Oscar-worthy film, but it was perfect for the mood we were in; we enjoyed ourselves so much that we ended up dancing in the middle of our living room in our sweatpants and socks while we listened to the credits music. I couldn’t for the life of me tell you why or what sparked that decision but it was the best choice we made possibly all school year. We laughed at our own goofiness and lack of dance skill, and I’ve rarely felt the same joy since.

Moral of the story: Don’t just dance… balter… enjoy yourself and dance through life to your heart’s content not because of any skill you possess or for anybody but yourself. Just balter. Balter through everything in life. Work, school, downtime. Don’t be afraid to enjoy yourself and to bask in all your imperfection. Just look at how happy Carlton always was.

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