My Future Commencement Speech

The chances of me being asked to give a commencement speech are pretty small… but if I WERE… I’d do things a bit different. As many people have simply re-hashed the same phrases over and over again, I would prefer to put things into a perspective that a larger population of graduating college students could understand. If I could only say a handful of words, this would be it:

Life is a party… However, it’s not the kind of blackout party where you wake up the next day and you ask yourself what the hell happened to you. At those kinds of parties you wake up, knowing some parts were fun, but realizing that most of it flashed by. You woke up somewhere unfamiliar and have no idea how you got there, why your best friend hates you, or why you’re wearing a Philadelphia Flyers jersey when you’re from Boston and hate hockey; you may have made many mistakes.

Life should be the kind of party where you wake up and you recall every moment. But more importantly you recall every wonderful, marvelous, incredible moment with zero regrets. You will remember laughing so hard you spilled your drink (but on hardwood so it was easy to mop up). You will remember making some new friends that you’re totally going to catch a concert with. Meeting the love of your life. Sharing a touching moment with your best friend, reminiscing about your younger days and how good they’ve been to you (and vice versa). And you’ll remember all your adventures. Sneaking onto the roof to see the stars. Visiting the 24 hour convenient store for milkshakes at 3 in the morning. Leaving random motivational post it notes on people’s parked cars.

Life should be the kind of party where you don’t wake up with a headache, but a soreness in your cheeks from that permanent smile on your face.

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